October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month; a time when pink ribbons appear everywhere, stories are shared, and so many of us are reminded of the people we know and love who have been touched by this disease.
But as we raise awareness, maybe it’s also time to rethink the words we use. So much of the language around breast cancer, and cancer in general, sounds like a war: fight, battle, survivor, warrior. But did any of us really sign up for a fight?
When I was diagnosed, I didn’t feel like a hero putting on armor. I felt scared, confused, and exhausted. From the moment I heard the word cancer, people called me brave and told me to keep fighting. But what choice did I really have? I showed up for the appointments. I sat through the treatments. I took the pills, endured the side effects, went to bed tired and woke up tired… not because I’m a fighter, but because I wanted to keep living.
And what about the people we’ve lost? We say they “lost their battle with breast cancer.” But they didn’t lose anything. They didn’t fail. They didn’t give up. They lived their lives as best they could while facing something no one asks for and they deserved more time.
I think of people I’ve met along the way, some who are still here, some who aren’t. I remember their laughter, their kindness, their moments of joy in between appointments and treatments. None of them were losers. None of them "gave up." They lived their lives as best they could, while cancer did what cancer does, completely ignoring metaphors or willpower.
The truth is, cancer doesn’t care if you’re strong or hopeful. Some people respond to treatment; some don’t. Some live years longer than expected; others don’t get that chance. It’s not about fighting harder. It’s about medicine, biology, access to care, early detection, luck and so much that’s out of anyone’s control.
Maybe we lean on battle words because they make us feel less helpless. Maybe they make this disease easier to talk about. But what if, this month, we tried something different?
What if, instead of making cancer a battle, we talked about breast cancer as something people go through - something they navigate, cope with, carry - rather than something they win or lose? What if we honored the people we’ve lost not as fallen warriors, but as people who laughed, loved, and lived through something unimaginably hard?
This Breast Cancer Awareness Month, let’s remember that awareness isn’t just pink ribbons and slogans, it’s also looking closely at how we talk about this disease, and the people who live with it. They don’t need to be called fighters or survivors to be worthy of our respect. They’re people who did what they could with what they had. That should be enough.
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